Toki's P.O.V

There's about a hundred things that make me stop and think. An emotional attachment maybe. Often times, I just sit and wonder and think about my emotional attachment. Yeah, I'm random. So I turn my head slightly and see Li sleeping beside me. How I've grown fond of him over the past few years. My one weakness, the taboo I've tried to stifle for myself but now I find myself in this lovey dovey disposition. I want to just hold Li all the time. Kiss him all the time, make him mine all the time. I look forward to crawling into bed beside him so much so that when he's not beside me, I can't sleep so when he has to work or he's up late, I stay up with him, I work with him because there are just times when I can't sleep. I like to hold him against me though he's not smaller then me. We're about the same height, same weight, same stature but still, holding him makes me feel better, makes me feel better about everything. Li is not small, he's not helpless, he's not anything that I usually like when it comes to my greed, yet, I love all that about him. Mostly because I know that underneath it all, he's just the same kid I've known since middle school. And that's fine with me. I've had that protection streak in me when it came to Li ever since then. Long before we both became yakuza, I felt the need to protect him, to make him be safe. I found no other comfort then seeing him smile at me. Weird effect he had on me. As adults on his birthday, I gave him one thing that I never had before.

Myself.

Sure, we had a few stolen kisses as we grew up, always that bashful look on his face when he turned away. I would swear he would blush, but if he did, it never lasted long enough for me to see. On his birthday I had to be inside him, had to kiss him for longer then a few minutes, had to touch him in places he never let me before. It was the first shallow note in me that I fell in love with his body first. He often wore suits and ties, baggy clothes to hide his slender frame. He was worried about his age not his appearance as he took over Japan. Other oyabuns looked down from their noses at him because he was in his early twenties and most of these fat old bastards were in their fifties or more. But Li had an amazing body. He was full of curves and lines you could never seen from the straight cut of a suit. But when he laid on his side, the shape of his legs, the curve from his hip, his thigh, going all the way down to his calf and his foot. Back upwards, he had that small curve on the side of his torso and then went back up to the shape of his arm if it was there, the slope of his shoulder, his neck, his face. On his back, he was smooth, flat planes of muscle and soft skin was all there. The smoothness of his chest, down the middle line of his body where his abs started, the line like a small valley as if my tongue was made to travel down there. It stops at his belly button, the small impression in his stomach, soft and just right. He's ticklish around there so he doesn't like me kissing his stomach too long because it's a combination of a ticklish sensation and a pleasurable one. The rest of his stomach is flat, slightly hard but not well defined because he doesn't have time to make it that way. But I like it that way. By far the most sexual, sensual and biggest thing he can do to turn me on, is slowly move his legs open for me. He draws his knees up and parts his thighs open for me. He does it so slowly that it's agonizing but when he's done, all I can do is stare.

The many things I love about Li's body, besides how soft he is and how good he feels against my calloused hand is the fact that he's hairless. The first time I saw him naked I could only wonder in amazement if it was natural or if he removed the hair himself. I laughed at the idea and he got embarrassed, saying it was natural and that he hated it. He said he looked like a prepubescent boy though he was well into his twenties at the time and even now well into his thirties. Other then the hair on his head and his finely done eyebrows, he has no body hair. I use to tease him about it and he would hate it, but I've grown to love the smoothness I feel. Nothing but his skin. His smooth arms devoid of any other feeling but that of his flesh. He's naturally soft too so when I press my lips to his skin, all I taste is him. On his stomach, his back is only defined by the bones of his shoulder blade, the groove of his spine down the middle of his back where again, my tongue just seems to be made to go there. Then of course the small curve of his ass. I laugh at him sometimes, saying he's a typical Asian with no ass and he smacks me saying he's not alone and says I have the same problem but, all kidding aside, he does. The curve of it is more obvious when he lays on his stomach. It's not big, but it's not nonexistent either. Back to Li on his back. I love tracing lines on his body with my mouth. Since it often drives him crazy. The feel of his body breathing under me is always sensual, just how he breathes, makes little noises, it's all exciting. The feel of his pulse under my mouth when I suck on his throat, how I can hear him breathing hard so closely. I go lower, licking at his collarbones, the small gap between them one of my favorite places to stop and rest before I go to his chest, lavishing attention to his perfectly color nipple. The detail on his body is amazing, all of it perfect, the coloring, nothing off, nothing rough, nothing at all wrong with him. I lean down, taking it in my mouth as he holds his breath for a moment. I smile to myself, loving how does that. My tongue flicks around it as I apply a little pressure, sucking softly before I let go and do the same to the other. His hands come up to my hair, pulling back my blonde strands as he looks at me. It's a face of trust and I've seen it a million times, on different occasions, for different reasons, but it's always the same face. I look down, returning my attention to his stomach, placing my tongue in that fine line down his torso and I lick the trail all the way down. I feel his hands slowly drop from my hair as I go down on him, remoistening my tongue every now and then as I stop, kiss him gently and swallow my own saliva, then stick my tongue back out and continue. I reach his pelvis, his hips and I kiss his hip bone, lapping at them for a moment before I travel to his pelvis, my hand on the side of his thigh, the other on top, near my face as I touch his body. His body remained still even after I descended my hand over his lower belly. He parted his legs slowly for me, in that sensual manner that drives me mad as I continue to trace that line down his hips, going down to his pelvis as I rested the side of my face against the inside of his thigh.

I love to be there. I love to be between his legs. As perverted as that sounds, it's not all having to do with sex. Surprisingly enough. I love to sleep there because he's so soft, the warmth he gives off is unbelievable. And it's warmth not heat and it's comforting rather then smothering. Often times, when I'm just laying here, falling asleep, not touching him, he's not hard. So he's just natural, dormant. The area that's suppost to be that of a man's doesn't look like one on Li because, again he's hairless. His sex is a perfect fit for my hand, as if it was made for me and me alone. I work him to a full erection, feeling him pant and moan, his slender hairless legs tensing at my touch. I would continue going down on him but I don't. I love to touch him, to look at him. There were so many nights after our first encounter that I would just watch him in his sleep and get annoyed by the fact that he sleeps in pajamas made of silk or satin even though I sleep in boxers or sweats or nothing at all depending on my mood so it bothers me that he covers up. I would take the time and in his sleep undress him throwing everything aside and then watch him sleep again before my sexual need would come into play and I would begin feeling him up because my hands would itch to touch him again.

I kiss the inside of his thigh after arousing him as much as I could. His hands reached for me and I lifted up the one hand I had resting on his hip as I reached it to his. I clasped his fingers as he held on tightly to my hand. I loved seeing him in this state. All powerful oyabun of all of Japan, ruler of New York, owner of California that he took by bloodshed, but when it comes to me, he's a thriving mass of need. I smirk as I hold his hand, my face still leaning on the inside of his thigh. He's breathing hard and he's trying to calm himself down, I could tell by the way he won't look at me, but at the ceiling, his stomach falling and rising quickly as he tried to steady it. I've passed my shallow point with him as I sit up, tucking my hair back behind my ears as I take off my sweats, tossing them to the side as I kneel before his parted legs. I lean over him, lowering myself on top of him as I kiss his mouth softly, our lips meeting for what had to be the millionth time. We always kiss differently then when I kiss someone else. With someone else, it's different because I never feel the way I feel when I'm with Li. Even kissing Mikkie is different. His mouth is smaller, thicker then Li's. Li's lips are full, soft yet have a feeling as if they weren't. They don't press down when I kiss him, but rather upwards to meet me. He doesn't break so submissively to me sometimes because he's use to being in control of everything. It's okay, it's just a kiss so I don't expect much more of a struggle then that. His tongue plays softly against mine, rubbing against it as we kiss. I feel him smile and I do too, his hands on my arm, his fingers rubbing the scar on the inside of my bicep that I got some time ago. My hand holds onto the right side of his hip, the side of my thumb still feeling the fading, almost none existent scar on the side of Li's body when he was shot a long time ago. It faded away greatly but still left a small patch of skin slightly darker then rest of him. He didn't care, he hid it away like the rest of him. But I cared, it bothered me to know I had not been there to take that wound instead of him. I rub against him and he bites his bottom lip. I could feel his hands clasp my arms a little tighter as he closes his eyes. I kiss his mouth as he let go of his lip as I slowly pushed my way inside him.

I rarely make for preparation for anyone. Not even with Li. I feel him for all he's worth, nothing to stand in the way or slow it down. It hurts him sometimes, I can tell the way his breath catches in his throat, or how his hands grasp at the sheets or at my arms. But once inside him, he relaxes, his breathing hard and he looks up at me. I wish he wouldn't look at me like that sometimes. It makes him seem like he's that little kid I've known all my life, too vulnerable for me. I kiss him, then pulled away as I rest my forehead against his, staring into his eyes as we fuck. I drown in his moans, in his gasps, how he tightens around me how every movement of our coupling seems to say the same thing, I love you.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you...

Every movement made said the same thing over and over again. It wasn't until I broke out of the spell of listening to our bodies when I heard him saying instead.

"I love you...I love you Toki..."

I slide my hands up to the back of his arms, up to his shoulders as I looked into his eyes, our mouths so close that we shared the same breath. I kissed him softly, my tongue tracing his bottom lip for a moment before I said,

"I love you too..."

He groaned softly, tilting his head back as I thrusted inside him. I could feel his arms around my neck, his knees against my hips as his feet stayed on the bed. He would thrust his hips up in time with me. Our rhythm was perfect. It was always perfect. It was like he read my mind and I read his and we were perfect together, perfect like this. I bit down on his neck, feeling his breath hitch, his heart beating so fast as he moaned in my ear, his head down as his hands pressed against my back. I had not even touched him and he came. I panted softly as I continued on, a few more shallow strokes before I came. I sighed, staying on top of him, inside him as his arms stayed around me. We kissed a couple of times more before his eyes soon fell shut and he started to sleep. Knowing Li, like I know Li, I did get off him and got up to take a shower and have a cigarette later. After my shower, I returned to bed, had a cigarette and got my sweats back on before I laid beside Li, taking him in my arms since he was sound asleep.

Later I woke up by myself, my hair falling over my eyes as I sat up and heard the shower shutting off. I figured he would get up later for a shower. When he came back in the room, he had a towel around his waist, his hair all wet, smoothed back from his face as he went to get dressed. I notioned him over as he said,

"My hair's wet. I don't like sleeping on wet pillows."

I didn't care what he said and pulled on the bed again where he laid down and I took the towel off him. I crawled down to the foot of the bed where he parted his legs for me and I laid on the side of his thigh. I stroked a pattern on his other thigh, as he said,

"I'll never know why you like sleeping there."

I laughed as I stroked the soft flesh of his body around me as his hand found a way to my damp hair. After a little while, I fell asleep again and Li left me where I was, his hand playing with the ends of my hair as I relaxed. I was sound where I was, feeling glad, content, everything I usually don't feel when I'm up and outside of this apartment. And right now, Li is mine, no one else's. It's a good feeling to have and it's the last thought I have before I fall asleep, my hand on his thigh with his hand in my hair as he lays still.