By: Toki

AokixAya 1Shot

I didn't care. For a really long time I didn't care. I didn't care what happened to him aside from the fact that he was my partner and there was that general concern about whether or not he'll live through his wounds and injuries. But I didn't care about him afterwards. I didn't even care about him when we started fucking. I mostly would smirk at that fact, not saying it aloud to anyone but once Toki found out of course everyone knew two seconds later. But when Toki would mention it, I was fucking Pretty Aya, I would smirk and love the fact that I got the prettiest one of them all. Everyone else thought he was devastatingly beautiful, fit to be something to sit on a shelf, not a yakuza. Not someone who could look you dead in the eye and pull the trigger anyway. Aya was a doll, an ornament, a pretty decoration. A diamond bracelet a woman would sport on her wrist or the expensive car men ride. He was all this and more. Women hated him because he was so much prettier then them and he is, more curves and legs then any Japanese woman I had been with before and after him. His eyes are the oddity of Japanese genes being a soft hazel color, so radiant, so bright, birds would sing thinking it was morning looking at them. He was a creature that only came across every other lifetime. What was I but a born and bred yakuza, coming at a dime a dozen. Being lifeless was in my blood I was meant to be a yakuza, that and nothing else. I was far too good at it, better then anything else I was in my life. And though it cost me an eye, I can see better then anyone else in the syndicate. I am what it means to be a yakuza. When Aya became my partner, I admit I too underestimated him and I was mad at first at Jia for pairing him with me. Me, having a partner like that. I would have been better off with Toki. But something in Jia's logic made me shut up and accept it. But Aya proved himself to me that he was more then a pretty face. He used that to his advantage and could easily snap anyone's neck that dared to approach him in a way that offended him. He was a yakuza. But I underestimated that in him

I guess there was a method to Jia's madness.

Years of working with him, I never cared about anything else then that. I fucked around on my time off with Toki and I worked when I had to. I saw my partner constantly tease and torment Toki, getting him hard and then leaving him there at time or just rubbing himself on Toki's lap until it got Toki off. Toki would tell me later that he dreamed of fucking Aya. Because Aya was so damn desirable. I would have never thought of Aya as desirable until Toki put the idea in my head. I began to see he was. Sensual, seductive, even when he didn't mean to be. Every blink of an eye, every curve of his lips, I did see he was sexy and he was desirable. Before Aya I had never even dreamed of fucking males. Toki had, Toki did and he said it wasn't much different from fucking females. It sparked my interest each and every time he would point something out about Aya. Finally I spoke to my partner, asking him about his ways with Toki. He said he didn't tease everyone and invited me back to his place. It was my first time with a guy, and it was his too. But Aya soon became my Aya. I kept seeing him on the regular, whenever it struck my fascination again, whenever Toki brought it up, I would call him and go to his place. Things stayed at a steady pattern until everyone found out by Mikkie's accidental stumble across our secret. I didn't care. It was then I was just proud, I was boasting it and bragging it that I nailed Aya. I had him, hell I kept having him. That was my whole thing. I was proud of it and he didn't mean anything to me. Not a damn thing.

Yet, the more I was with him, I saw he was so sweet to me. He asked me to stay the nights, but didn't pressure me to stay, he didn't care if I didn't talk to him other then for sex, he didn't care about what I did when I wasn't with him, yet he always cared for me. He was there for me a lot of the times. Sex got different with him...I didn't notice when it did, but it did. I started spending the nights every other week or so though it felt strange at first. When he kissed me, I noticed it was different sometimes. His eyes softened when he looked at me. He didn't see me like everyone else did and I didn't know why. And at first I tried to ignore it and just shrugged, walked away from it and just didn't care. I told myself nothing had changed. Yet, when I saw him in his usual ways, teasing Toki, being cute with Jia, I got angry. Thoughts like, my Aya, how dare they touch my Aya came into my mind. I would catch myself and think what the fuck am I talking about. And I still tried to ignore it. I could never think of him that way. He wasn't anything of mine. Still, we continued to see each other. Somewhere along that line, I fucked around with some random girl as it was my habit to when I was out with Toki and Akio having drinks. That random girl ended up being the mother of my kid. Of course when she told me, I told her right of the top I didn't want it. I wasn't going to take care of it. She knew but she had it anyway. I didn't meet my kid until he was about six or so. But during all that time, I didn't tell anyone I was a father. I wouldn't dare. I kept that shit my secret and I carried it with me until my kid was about eighteen. I met Joryu when he was six or seven. He looked so much like me it was frightening to see something of myself so close. I was afraid of him, afraid of what he could wake in me so I stayed away and I didn't want anything to do with him. I did to him what I did to Aya. But when Joryu was about eighteen, I told Aya. I had managed to keep something of a relationship with him. My seiai as I called him now. I grew so possessive of him and I wanted no one else to ever touch him again. Now that Toki knew about Aya and me, I warned him to not touch him again or I'd break his hands. He knew I was serious. So I told my seiai about my son. He was surprised and more over he was angry with me. Not angry that I kept it a secret or that I had a son and not even mad I fucked around on him, but he was mad I was able to have whatever freedom I pleased, but I guarded him like an animal. He called me an animal. And at first I was ready to yell back and say who was he to call me an animal. But I realized he was right. I allowed no one near him yet I was free to come and go as I pleased. I didn't say that to him though. I just shrugged it off, saying I didn't care who or what he did.

Aya did not do anything to get me in return. He didn't go and fuck Toki or someone else that hit on him. He just stayed angry with me. Eventually I did tell Jia and soon everyone else found out I had a kid from some years back. Joryu's mother, who I decided to support only because she had my kid, was giving him shit. The bitch never could keep anything of hers shut anyway and she finally pushed him too far. That's when Joryu came to work for Jia. Everyone said he looked like me. He really was my son since we looked alike. I hated to admit that but he did. He looked like me when I was eighteen. Aya saw him as a reflection of me and he looked at me and shook his head, angry I could do that to him. For a while, he held some bitterness towards me. And I said I didn't care but I missed him. I missed my seiai when he wasn't around me, when his eyes were soft to me. I then knew he was something important to me. I didn't want him to be and I hated the fact that it had taken so many years but he had finally gotten through to me. He cared about me and I didn't want to admit but I cared about him too. I held back that knowledge from him for a long time. For the longest time until he was shot and hurt badly. I was the first person out of Jia's building to find the motherfuckers who did it. Once I was done, I went to see Aya and I sat at his bed side. No one dared to try and move me. I didn't move, I didn't even smoke which was my heaviest and worst habit and also my biggest addiction. I sat down and didn't dare move as I watched Aya that whole night. When he woke up from the drugs and pain, his hand touched the top of my head when I had dozed off and put my head down on his bed. I sat up right away and saw him looking at me. And even though he had been shot, injured, drugged up and bruised from the needles, the wires and anything else they attached to him, when I looked into his eyes, he was still beautiful. Devastating beyond belief, still so pretty. I took his hand and kissed it as he sighed, happy to see me there. I was glad to be there. I knew then I cared for him. And though I damned myself over and over again about it, I knew I did. I looked at my seiai and kissed his hand and put my head down on the side of his bed, taking off my sunglasses, showing him the car that blinded me and still he looked at me like no one else did or had.

When Aya was well enough, I brought him home and I stayed with him for the first time without having him ask me to. He held my hands and even though I didn't say a word to him, nor did I confess anything, he knew. He knew I cared about him. So when he kissed me in that way that only Aya could, I relaxed and kissed him back.

I am far too much of a coward to admit anything else I could feel. I'm afraid to since it could set off something inside me I never dealt with before. I keep Joryu at an arm's length, even going as far as telling him to call me by my name and not father, I do almost the same thing to Aya. I can't admit anything to him though I do little things to show him I care about him, staying with him when he doesn't ask me to, kissing him in front of everyone and I stopped bragging about the fact that he's with me. Yeah, he's with me, I nailed him, I had him and I still do. But it's different now. I have more respect for him. He's my seiai still and I call him that, my name for him that I call him that as I stroke his cheek, brush his hair back and watch as he arches his back, slowly straddles my waist and leans down towards me, his perfect mouth pressing close to mine. He is mine and everything I have with him now, was completely unexpected and though at first unwanted. He's mine now and I leave it at that.