9:00 on a Friday night.

I'd been laying in this bed for almost a week. The sheets were cold against my skin and a dull pain still made itself present in my chest. My first serious injury...it hurt like hell. My eyes started to slide shut, the peaceful darkness of sleep settling over me. A soft creaking sound interrupted my would-be nap just as I began to doze off. I turned my head slightly to the side to see who was disturbing my rest. My annoyance faded when I saw who it was. My best friend Tai had stopped by once again to see me. I knew very well he had the day off too, and could be spending it much better ways. But once again he was here, by my side. For some reason this was very comforting to me.

Tai and I had always remained friends and just friends, but the more I was around him, the more I appreciated his company. Besides Jia, he was the one who treated me like an equal. He didn't call me gaijiin like everyone else did. And though they meant no harm in calling me that, in a way it was like segregation, where they were constantly reminding me that I was half of what they were. Tai never did that. He took the usual chair he always sits in for the night as he asked,

"How are you?"

"In pain."

I see him give a worried smile. It also upsets me to know that even though it is his day off, he could be with his family, but he's here instead. I feel all the more grateful. I know that Jia would stop in eventually to see me, but no one else would. And I would lay in this hospital bed until I was healed enough to be discharged. He offers to get me a drink, but I decline, only wanting the sake of his company. So he stays and we make small talk.

Months after my recovery, I was back in actions. Deals with Jia's rival at the time, Koniko had come to bitter blows. We were all watching as the impending war just over the horizon. We were all worried yes, but none of us could ever be prepared for the backlash that hit us.

I was at home, not too far from the Roppongi District where I was about to go to bed. After a long nights worth of work, I was ready for a shower and then a few hours of rest before getting back to work the next morning. I tucked my hair behind my ears as I entered my apartment, locking the door behind me. I took off my shoes and was about to pull my tie loose when the phone started ringing. I went over the phone sitting on the small table near the sofa as I picked it up, cradling it between my head and shoulder as I started to undo the buttons on the cuff of my shirt. It was then I heard Tai's voice. He was so calm it was eerie. But he told me his wife and child had been murdered. I couldn't believe the state of calmness he was in. I told him I would be there in a few minutes and quickly left.

I had left Tai at home that night unknowing what was waiting for him when he arrived. I went to his building where I saw the police and ambulances taking the bodies out. Tai was nowhere to be found. I parked the car across the street as I got out and started looking around. Tai wasn't that hard to miss. A six foot, build like a brick wall man shouldn't be hard to miss. I looked around for a moment before I saw him standing in the crowd, looking on as if he had nothing to do with this. I went to him, putting my hand on his shoulder as I motioned him to come back with me. We got in the car and drove to Jia's building. Once there I called Jia to let him know what happened. Within the half hour, Jia and Toki arrived and by then, the shock had worn off on Tai and he had broken down. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I felt completely helpless not being able to do anything but watch him in silence.

The conviction between Tai and Koniko passed. Tai got his revenge though it didn't make the pain any less. After the funeral, he was so quite and withdrawn. He wouldn't speak anymore. Jia gave him as much time as he needed to recover so I knew I wouldn't see him for a while. But, as he had done for me, I too went out of my way to comfort him. Though I could have been spending my time off doing something else, I went to see Tai right away. He had moved from the apartment he once had and was now in the Roppongi District, not too far from the Jia's building. I went there on evening, hoping I wasn't going to bother him. He let me inside the building with a simple buzz and the door unlocked. I went inside the lobby, taking the elevator up to his floor as for the first time since I've known him, nervous about seeing him. I had not seen him in about three weeks after the funeral and I could only wonder how he was. I was hoping I'd be a comfort and not a nuisance. Once I stood in front of his door, I knocked and held my breath, wondering if he would be glad to see me or not. I thought back to myself laying in that hospital bed, the bullet wound that left me forever scarred on my chest a reminder of how angry I felt being alone when Tai showed up. I was happy to see him...I was hoping it would be the same for him.

When the door opened, he saw me and with a simple gesture invited me inside. I took off my shoes at the door before I went inside. Everything looked normal, Tai seemed fine. I wasn't sure how he was dealing with himself. When I turned my attention to him I asked him how he was. He shrugged a little before saying he would have to live on. The pain was still fresh and I understood that.

"If I'm bothering you Tai, please let me know. I'll leave."

He shook his head as he then took a hold of my hand and said,

"I'm actually glad to see you."

He hugged me, needing the feeling of another presence close to him. I understood how he felt and I let him cling to me for just a moment before he pulled back and then offered me something to drink. I declined as I said,

"I wasn't sure if I should show up."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to bother you."

I sat down on the sofa in the living room when I felt him sit behind me. His arms came around me as he said,

"You're not a bother."

I smiled slightly, glad to know it. I also saw Tai was more affectionate, he never was before. He and I hardly exchanged a handshake before this and now he was holding me every few minutes. I didn't mind, put it pulled upon my heartstrings since I had come to form that I defiantly felt something for Tai. Though now was hardly the time to admit it.

Besides. Love is a taboo in our line of work.

More months went by and we celebrated Jia's birthday. He was turning twenty-five. We held a private dinner for him at the Dragon Leaf and even though he didn't want it, it happened anyway. I was glad to see Tai was there, he was gradually getting better in his own way. No one expected him to get better right away, but he slowly getting there. Early the day of Jia's birthday, Tai and I were discussing what to do for it. We had already thought ahead of the Dragon Leaf, but the main problem would be deciding what to serve since everyone was a picky eater. I tucked my hair back since it was getting in the way as I wrote, when I felt Tai's fingers sweep back a stray lock. I smiled at him as he said,

"Gabriel..."

The way he said my name was different. I didn't know what to think of it, if anything. I turned to look at him and I knew what I was feeling was wrong. It had been wrong since God knows when...but...when he looked at me like that and said my name like that, whatever resistance inside me denying how I felt for him broke in. I kissed him. And I thought to myself, this is the dumbest thing I've ever done. I was about to pull back and apologize profusely when I felt his mouth follow mine. He was kissing me back...and why I don't know. We would eventually have to breathe, but just feeling his mouth on mine, his lips parting slowly as our tongues shyly met, his hands holding my face as he pulled slightly, kissing my bottom lip as I kissed his top lip, I really wasn't thinking about breathing. I shuttered as he pulled away, his eyes staring into mine, not saying anything. I felt my face get extremely hot, as I blinked and looked down, too shy to meet his gaze anymore. He still held my face and didn't let go until I looked back up eventually. Once I did, without another word, he kissed me.

Sympathy, comfort, the ever spoken about shoulder to cry on...I was all this...and then some. Whatever Tai wanted from me that night, I willingly gave. Feeling very much out of character I was laying on my back, staring up at the ceiling of Tai's bedroom. His fingers slowly undid the buttons to the shirt I wore, and I thanked myself for not bothering with the tie today. I was too embarrassed to meet his eyes, since I had never done this before...with another guy. Let alone my best friend. I gasped softly to myself, feeling his hands on my body and I shuttered softly as his mouth desended to my chest. I closed my eyes, the heat puddling in my cheeks again as he kissed me gently, softly, his mouth touching down on my neck leaving small bite marks there, then back down to my chest where his tongue brushed over the scar tissue of the bullet wound I recieved a few months earlier.. He sat up, taking my hands in his as he brought them up to his shirt. I shyly undid the buttons there, exposing bit by bit parts of his chest. I had never seen him undressed and never this upclose. And it dawned on my just how much bigger Tai was then me. I think he outweighed me by at least a good thirty or more pounds, I being the frail little gaijiin. As his shirt opened, his hands held my waist, slowly bringing my legs to open around his waist as he tugged on the belt of my pants.

I was acting like such a virgin. As if I had never been undressed or touched by anyone. But because it was Tai doing it, I was shy and embarrassed and I blushed each time he touched me. But he was a good kisser. His mouth on mine left me dizzy, all the air drawn from me as he kissed me, his lips warm and soft but demanding and firm. When he pulled back, he managed to sit me up and pulled off the shirt from my shoulders as it slid off my arms. I leaned back, holding myself up with my arms as he looked at me, the lower portion of my body sitting on his lap, my pants slightly undone. I held my breath as his arms came around, picking up me closer to him as he kissed me again. I didn't say a word to stop this. I let it continue as he laid us both back down on his bed, a growing ache swelling between my legs as he gradually put space between us.

He kissed me once more, then spoke the first words between us since this started.

"Are you sure about this?"

I should have been the one asking him this. Considering the past few months ordeal...but I nodded and let my eyes fall in a heavy lidded matter as I felt him continuing to undress me. My pants slid slowly off my hips, down my thighs, over my knees and finally off my feet. They landed on the floor with a soft sigh as I felt his hands cup my foot, peeling back the socks I was wearing one by one. I felt him pause as he took off his shirt, joining that with the clothes on the floor as he reached under my hips, rising them slowly as he took the brim of the white boxers I was wearing and slowly started drawing them down. It was then I paused. I grabbed his wrist as I said,

"Wait..."

He looked at me, his short black hair falling over one of his eyes as I said,

"Tai.."

I wasn't sure what to say. If I should even say anything.

"You wanna stop?"

I shook my head. He kissed my stomach, his lips pressing gently to my belly button as his tongue made a quick dash across the slight dimple in my stomach. I moved my hand from his wrist as I let him finish undressing me.

Again my whole body blushed, my eyes closed as I felt him looking at me, his hands touching me, raising my legs up and opening them to him. I whimpered from embarrassment as he did this. I brought my arm up over my eyes, as I leaned my head to the side and let my forearm cover my eyes. He touched my inner thigh as I heard him softly laughing to himself. I peeked out from behind my arm as I said,

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No, just your shyness. I know you're not a virgin."

"I'm not...I've just..never done this with a guy before."

"Neither have I."

He leaned over and kissed me, making me move my arm back and laying it beside me. I shuttered as he touched me skin to skin. I then moved my head slightly, a moan escaping through the side of my mouth as he cupped me gently, the tips of his fingers stroking me softly. I felt the fabric of his pants underneath my thighs as my legs still rested on top of him. He managed to draw my knees up as he moved away from me, and finished undressing himself. I didn't watch. I was still embarrassed from him seeing me naked, I wouldn't want to embarrass myself further by seeing him naked.

My bare legs met his as they were brought back to their normal position. He held himself over me as he then leaned down to kiss me gently. I was breathing heavily from anticipation, from fear, from nervousness. Tai sensed that as he kissed my lips softly, smoothing back my then brown hair as he looked at me seriously. I felt his lips press against my cheek as I put my arms around him, my thighs pressing against his hips as I heard him saying,

"This is gonna hurt."

I had always heard it hurt. Which is mostly the reason I stuck to females. But...despite all that, I was here with Tai. I nodded and pressed my palms against his bare back, it was hot, his scent mingling with mine as I felt the first initial nudge. I tensed up as I turned my head slightly, almost inching away from him. I felt his hand on the back of my head as his fingers worked through my thick hair, his mouth kissing me gently as my arms tensed up around him. My whole body was tight and I couldn't relax. Tai smiled as he said,

"Calm down."

I nodded, but made no real notion to calm down. Tai leaned his head down to my neck, sucking on the skin there softly making me gradually loosen up. I moaned, leaning my head the other way, allowing him to get at my neck more. I felt the soft nips and bites he was marking along the way as he suddenly pushed in.

I didn't scream. I had too much pride in myself to do that. I clenched my teeth shut instead, shutting my eyes so tightly tears streamed out. A choked sob escaped my throat as he looked up. He kissed my cheek as he apologized, saying he had to distract me. I nodded, telling him it was okay though I had never been in more pain in my life. It was like being shot all over again. The pain raced through my whole system, touching every fingertip down to my toes. Worst off, I felt blood sliding down the insides of my legs. It took him a while before he could move inside me. Once he did however, all that changed.

The pain ebbed away to the strange sensation of pleasure. It felt strange having someone inside me. When he begin to move, I shuttered in pleasure, getting use to the feeling. The pattern started slowly so he wouldn't hurt me. He kissed me as we went along, asking in between if I was okay. I kept nodding, not trusting my voice as I softly groaned. I reached up to his face once I started getting use to him pushing and withdrawing from me, pulling back his hair, looking into his eyes as I moaned softly, my breath coming in heavy pants. I never felt anything like this. Something intimate, something deep that I know that for the rest of my life I'll always feel it. Just feeling him move inside me as I watched his face change, a look I'd never seen on him before, much like his pain. I felt almost privileged to see him like this, in the middle of his ecstasy as he moved to a rhythm he built, my hips meeting him half way, allowing him to go even deeper inside my body.

I wasn't sure how long it lasted, I was too lost in the feeling of it all, feeling his weight on me, feeling him inside me, the touch of his mouth against mine, against my cheek as his hands held up my head. I could feel the heat from his body, the soft sheen of sweat that had formed on his back, the taste of the inside of his mouth when he kissed me, the scent of sex and passion filling the room. I could hear him panting and my own breathing coming out rapidly as I finally felt the end, the pinnacle of this massive pleasure. I moaned loudly as I came, arching my back, throwing my head back as he leaned down, kissing my throat, breathing heavily as I felt him come as well.

We fell back in a mass of sweaty arms and legs as I tried to regain myself. My eyes couldn't focus for a moment, and I had a hard time breathing and I felt dizzy. I reached up to my face, pulling back my hair as it was sticking to my cheek when Tai picked his head up. He kissed me once more as his hand came to my face, brushing my cheek as he then smiled slightly. We didn't have time to reveal in the aftermath. Tai checked picked up his watch from the night stand as he saw we had less then an hour to get up, get dressed and go to the Dragon Leaf for Jia's dinner. We got up and he went to shower first. I sat up, aching from the waist down as I cursed. I wish I would have showered first. I just sat on his bed as I waited for my turn to shower as I drew my legs up and then extended them back down. Each time flinching and groaning from the ache of having them kept in the same position for as long as I did. When Tai finished, I got up and showered, then slowly re dressed. By the time the hour was up and we had to leave, I was a little bit better, but I could mask my pain easily.

We arrived at the Dragon Leaf without so much as a word. It was almost as if nothing happened. I wasn't sure if I should feel anything by that...and at the end, I decided to feel nothing at all for it. It happened, I wanted it to, and maybe it wasn't the best choice to make, but it was my choice and it was too late to go back and change it now. I thought that things between Tai and I as friends would change, but they didn't. Like I said, it was almost as if nothing happened, though we both knew it did. He and I never told anyone what happened. There was no need to. Though now over the years, he and I remained close. We never really did speak on full lengths of what went on. I guess it was more of a...spur of the moment type thing. I can't complain. Toki always teased me about having a crush on Tai...which couldn't more true. But I never said anything and just looked at him as if I wanted to kill him because it was embarrassing. Tai never said anything about it. He would ignore Toki and lead me away from him.

So it happened quietly. I guess it's better then never having it happen at all.